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Father Hood

Yesterday, I posted a really bad joke on my Twitter account. I asked “what’s the definition of mass confusion?” The answer, “a Father’s Day picnic at 42nd and Post Road”.  It’s actually a very old joke and easily adaptable to any social setting, take the former Governor of California, for example. And while a lot of the punditocracy spent Sunday pontificating on the importance of fathers, I honestly think we would have fewer societal issues if fewer people became fathers in the first place.

Allow me to elaborate. This past week a 16-year old was arrested for shooting and robbing a man on the Monon Trail. In less than four weeks a lot of good-hearted people are going to team up with law enforcement and patrol downtown Indianapolis during the second Saturday of Indiana Black Expo because some people are going to let their children run loose. For the past several weeks we’ve had hearings on the possible state takeover of failing schools because, in part, some people have decided not to be good parents and let their children’s’ education go straight to hell.

When I look at those few examples, it makes me wonder why instead of defunding Planned Parenthood, Indiana lawmakers didn’t increase funding and hand out gift cards. Let’s face it, some people are not just ready to be parents. And instead of chastising them, we really should turn our efforts into convincing them not to procreate. It’s not fair to the children and certainly not fair to us who will have to bear the costs, financial and otherwise, of their bad choices.

I know some of you are saying “Abdul, who the blank are you to say who can and can’t have kids?”   The flippant answer would be “I’m Abdul”.  The more thoughtful answer is I’m not saying people should not be allowed to procreate,  what I’m saying is that it would be nice if people made more informed decisions and were better equipped before bringing children into this world. Let’s be honest, if Mom and Dad are hooking up at $2 Tequila shot night, there’s a pretty big chance the rest of us will be picking up the tab for that love connection for quite a few years to come.

So instead of wringing our hands about how fathers are abdicating their responsibilities and women are making poor choices for getting together with these men whose sole purpose in this world is to not violate probation, how about we spend a bucks and make contraception a lot more available. It would save the rest of us a lot of headache and taxes.

Hope you had a great Father’s or Baby Daddy’s Day., whichever the case might have been, unless of course you’re waiting for the paternity test to come back from the Maury Povich Show.