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The Seven Year Itch

Here’s a thought on this Valentine’s Day, marriages should only be valid for seven years at a time.

I’ll let you catch your breath.

Now let me say that again, marriage should only be valid for seven years at a time.  I got to thinking about this the other day while doing some reading about the marriage equality fight in Alabama, the Religious Freedom Restoration Act debate here in Indiana and of course the release this weekend of Fifty Shades of Grey.

And a subtext in a lot of the discussion has been that “traditional marriage” is under attack and needs to be protected. I agree; marriage should be protected from its number one killer, divorce.  And what better way to do that than with my seven-year plan.

Here’s how it works, when you get married, your wedding license is only good for seven years.  After that you have to renew.  Of course as one caller suggested on my evening radio program, he’d like an automatic renewal option, which I’m open to.  However the flip side of that is once you’re married, you’re stuck.  And absent any physical abuse, financial mismanagement or infidelity, there’s no turning back, until you hit that seven-year mark.   Once you get there, you can decide whether you want to stay together for another seven years or go your separate ways and divide up the assets and figure out who gets the kids.*

Now some of you are thinking how does this brilliant plan save marriage?  Easy, it makes people think twice about the institution and whether they want to do it.  While there are a lot of us who take marriage seriously, I think there are a good number of us who don’t.  And maybe if they knew before they went into it, they would be stuck with each for seven years with limited escape plans, they might think long and hard about entering into the institution and taking it more seriously.

Now if you will excuse me, I have to pick up a gift for my wife.  This way in 568 days, she’ll continue to stick with the best decision she ever made in her life.

*There is literature out there that talks about a four-year itch, but seven works better for me.