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PANHANDLE PLAINS

Abdul the Hobo in Indianapolis - Some People Just Talk About Change - I Take It!Well, I went and did it. I panhandled in downtown Indianapolis on Friday for a couple hours. It was an interesting experiment to say the least. Let me share my story.

I didn’t go with the total “bum” look. I just wore clothes, that for me were very dressed down. I had my change cup. It was one I got from Victory Field so I could help promote the city with my experiment. And the corner I chose to shake my cup and ask for change was Washington and Meridian. I chose it not only because it was a very busy intersection, but it was the volunteer headquarters for Barack Obama. Insert your own joke here about asking for change.

Abdul’s Panhandler SignI held up my sign (I had four made and would rotate. Each had a clever message about change) and waited for the money to come rolling in. I made it a point to obey the law. I stayed away from banks and ATMs. I never asked anyone directly for cash. I just stood there and smiled. I didn’t go near the street, nor next to another panhandler.

I started panhandling at 11:55 a.m. I had the first bit of change come in at 11:58. A lot of people walked by and didn’t want to make eye contact. The ones that did and read the sign would smile, but the real smart ones got the whole joke about someone standing by Barack Obama’s office and asking for change. They were the ones who dropped the coins in the cup.

I ran into IMPD police chief Mike Spears while begging and he and I were chatting about what I was doing and people still dropped change in the cup. Despite the fact there was the chief and another officer there. Mayor Greg Ballard and Dr. Woody Myers both stopped by. The Mayor gave me a quarter; Dr. Myers, two cents. One of his staffers later brought me a beer in a paper bag, which I did not drink until I got to my downtown place.  The Obama people were cool about the whole deal.  A couple of them came out and took pictures with me.

One passerby asked me what I was going to do with the money, I told him buy alcohol and tobacco (actually a martini and cigar) and give the rest to charity.* He told me was impressed with my honesty and entrepreneurial spirit and gave me a couple bucks. Even some of the downtown panhandlers who walked by were impressed by my operation.

By the time I was done I managed to collect about $30; most of it came between noon and one. $30 for two hours worth of begging wasn’t bad coinage. I made $15 an hour which is slightly less than the average paying job in Indiana. The way I figured it out, if I converted that cash into a real job I either made the equivalent of $31,000 annually in pre-tax income or $44,000 a year if that was my after tax income. Nice work if you can get it.

I now understand why people panhandle, there’s money in it. I was shocked by how much money you can make if this is all you do. Granted some days will be better than others, but if you beg between the hours of 7-9, 11-1 and 4-6, and find the right corner of town you can rake in a lot of tax free money. I’m not even counting big convention events.

But despite all that, the real culprits in the panhandling scam are us, the givers. If we didn’t give, the panhandlers would go away. It’s like why Willie Sutton robbed banks, because that’s where the money was. Why do people beg downtown? Because that’s where we give them money. The city is starting a new anti-panhandling program encouraging the public to give to charity instead of beggars. I agree.

If more people gave to charity and none to the beggars this problem would all but vanish overnight. And I could spend my Friday afternoons at the Columbia Club, instead of standing on a corner asking for change.

*Editor’s note: I am not keeping the money I raised. It’s going to the Wheeler Mission on Monday. They could use it a lot more than me.