There’s a joke I tell in my comedy routine about same-sex marriage. Once you get married, the sex is always the same! (Rimshot here) Now I make it a point not to tell that bit with my lovely wife in the audience, otherwise sex won’t even be a question when we get back to the house because the answer will be “no”. So, as Indiana lawmakers get ready for another constitutional amendment on protecting “traditional” marriage, I just have one question, why?
Same-sex marriage is already against the law in Indiana and in the 6+ years I’ve been here, I have yet to see a successful legal challenge to overturn that. And even if gay marriage was made legal, are gay couples who want to tie the knot really that much of a threat to the fabric of the Hoosier landscape? No offense, but I will gladly take my gay neighbors across the street who keep their home in nice shape and look out for us as opposed to the single-mom breeder down the street who pops out unruly kids like a pez dispenser.
In the year and five months that I’ve been married (notice how I got that timelime correct) and three years and two months my wife and I have been together as a couple (not bad for a married man), of all the things we ever fought over, gay marriage has never been one of them. And even in our worse fight where one of us ended up on the couch for a couple days (she slept comfortably, by the way) gay marriage wasn’t on the radar screen. It was over something I didn’t do, but as a man realized that if I just accepted blame my life would be a lot easier.
So let’s be reasonable here. I know the marriage amendment will likely pass, however I’m not sure if everyone has thought out all the consequences of this, such as what this does for local governments that want to offer domestic partner benefits? I know Indianapolis City-County Councilor Angela Mansfield is looking at offering such a proposal. And what does this do for private companies that want to offer such benefits as well?
Like I said, gay marriage is already against the law in Indiana, although I really don’t see why. And I wonder if an amendment is really necessary in this case. However, if lawmakers really wanted to put an end to gay marriage they would sign off on the plan, because if gays are anything like us hetros one of every two gay marriages with end up with gay divorcees. Sorry about that, Fred.